About me

I like to go into detail when it comes to who I am.

1. Who I am: I am a guy that is complicated and hard to understand. I don't do what comes to my mind. I am not very socialbe, never know what to say to a person i first meet. I play games to escape a cruel reality. My mind is a fantacy world, one that exists only within, and one that has many things to offer. I love to listen to music, most songs i like reflect how i fell at moments. I care nothing of what people think of me, I am who i am and if they don't like it, then they need not have to. I care for my friends, people I know, strangers, and Family. In my opinion im to trusting, a person could probably lie a million times to me and get caught, yet i would still trust them. I am somewhat an Athiest, yet have my own unique beliefs. I'm friendly and kind, not your typical teen. I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs.

2. Interest: I love to watch anime, usualy makes me realize things i never stop to realize. Making my friends laugh is a must so i act immature yet are not so. I enjoy online activities, mostly games and sites like this one. Meeting new people has always been a thing of mine, yet i know not how to do it. I enjoy understanding things. If i come across something i am unsure about i usually research it till im satisfied with what i have.

3. Fantacy Mind: Inside my head is a world of fantasy basicaly. I think about things I see on anime, thing that I would/could never do in life. Most the time its about love, sometimes its about people I hate and others its about things to make people laugh. My mind is random from things like, Chocolate covered ant bars to something as stranges as Aunt Marks ceral killer marbales. Most the things i come up with is just complete randomness and mean nothing, yet some people take what I say to heart.

4. Language: I do cuss. I cuss to show people the size of my anger, and I do it to people i don't care for much. If i am able to I try to clean it up with silly words like Shittaki Mushrooms, or random grunts and growls. Sometimes the situation calls for the word and I don't do anything to stop it. No ones perfect though, and if you think so, please introduce me to this perfect person you know.

5. Overall: just a really nice guy with a few flaws. Things i can work on things I won't change, and things that others can changes. I live by one saying: I would rather be hated for who I am, then Loved for who I am not. I only change if I want to, not if someone else wants me to.

Like to know something else about me? just contact me and I'll be glad to tell you.

View of People

It makes me mad to see such assholes in the world. People who just discriminate against others because of what they like, who they are, reason they do things. For instance people treat me like crap just because I act immature. I just recently saw a video on Youtube that I thought was great. The thing that got me was when i read the comments on the video. So many people cussing this guy out, telling him he needs a life. I don't know this guy personaly but I do know not all of us are born with great social skills and really are not people friendly. I have been teased a lot in my childhood and I come to see the world full of hateful and mean people. There have been a few people who altered my view of that. My friend Matthew cares about others and doesn't like to hurt them, though he does seem to fight alot, but again not all people are nice. My friend Sergio, He a great guy, kind and funny at times, loves to play games and isn't a violent person. There is one other but I can't say anything about him/her, its a promise i made. Wondering why i even brought him/her up? its cus i hate to lie, and leaving him/her out of this when he/she applies to what i am talking about is a lie to me. These people showed me there are good people in the world, but day after day the number of jerks seem to out number that of kind people. So i say this, if you read this and find yourself relating to anything i have writen just contact me here or at Myspace.com/inuyasha50yr. I have no life at the moment (atm) and will gladly be open to suggestions. Life for me right now is Computer, TV, Sleep and Writing.

A Single Moment...

In a single moment my wonderful day turned to a horrible depression filled day that I have been trying so hard never to have again. Events happend that I wish never did, but I can't turn back the clock. I would talk about them more but I promised someone I wouldn't talk about anything online that contained his/her name or dealt with them in any way. So i guess the only way to find out more about this is to be a friend of mine and earn my trust. Its not that important to make friends with a person on here just to find out more about a problem they have. Well, im always looking for new people to share things with. If you like to talk about things with a person that doesn't personaly know you then im the guy. I listen pretty well, its finding people that listen to me that is hard. Well, Hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving and don't spend too much on Black Friday! ^_^

Clearing Things Up.

Most of my blog will seem like its just whining but in truth its just a way for me to tell people what is on my mind. My best friend that was living with me decided to go back to his original place. Seeing that he was really the only person i could talk to anytime I find myself bottling up emotions and things and its making me sick. So I write my problems down and hope to get some feed back on what to do...seeing that not many people read my blog I guess in reality I am just whining and complaining. I always believe that its worth trying things at least once. So I continue to write my problems and feelings down and hope to get some feed back on how to deal with them.

Frustrated.

I am either really dumb, or just really freaken tired. I can't seem to put a background on my blog. No wander many people prefer myspace. well, i guess whining about it won't help...i'll try again later

Break up

I broke up with my girlfriend today. I never really believed that your heart hurts when you lose someone you love. I know that to be true now, my chest has hurt ever since it happened. Time will have to repair the damage and I will find someone for me yet. Love is a wonderful thing to have, but it hurts when you lose it. Thought maybe writing about it might make me feel slightly better. The one thing I am happy about is that she decided to stay my friend. She had such an impact on my life it would be horrible to lose such a great friend. I hope she finds someone as good or better than me and I hope I find someone just as great or better than she is. Might be hard for me, never met a girl as great as her yet. I wish both of us a happy life and hope we can remain friend till the end.

A Dream

Recently I had a dream. The dream was of me and a girlfriend. We were both in my Basement asleep on seprerate beds. Something had woke her up and she went into the next room where the piano is located. She pulled out the bench and sat down. Few minutes later I woke up to notice she wasn't in her bed. I got up and went to the Piano room and saw her sitting there, pretending to play the piano. Slowly I walked up to her and grabbed ahold of her from behind. I leaned in and gave her a kiss saying, "What are you doing up so late?" She looked at me and just stated "I couldn't sleep." The dream was so clear to me it was like I was actually there. I could see what we were wearing to bed and how my house looked. She was wearing a Bed shirt and Pants set that were blue with flowers on them. I was wearing just some kind of red Night pants. It was so real I swore it happened. After I woke up I was disappointed that it was just a dream. I know that I will never forget that dream. It is the best dream I have ever had.

Bad News from Josh

Josh just contacted me yesterday, would of posted this then but I forgot. He told me that his phones just got disconnected and he was waiting for a call from a job he wanted. I can't believe how hard it must be for him. He doesn't seem to like where he is and every attepmt he tries to leave something goes wrong. I hope it improves for him, if I can do anything for him I will.

Finally!

I finally got a hold of Matthew. Apparently he thinks his life is better where it is because of the friends he has up there. I think he is wrong. Ever since he moved there 2 years ago he became a different person from what I knew him to be. He did things he shouldn't have, and other things he's been doing more often. I tried to save him from a ruined life. I care about my friends and since I lose more friends then I gain, I want to save or help those that have become close to me. I have maybe 2 or 3 very close friends and I want to keep them. We might go our seprate ways during college but after we can get together and spend life as friends forever. One thing that means the world to me is my friends. Without them I don't think I would be the person I am. So I am trying to get him back here. He has some things to finish up there and then he will be back. He told me that the friends he has down there are even planing to move. I told him that he can call them anytime he wants now that we have unlimited Long Distance. I hope he does come back, World of Warcraft is changing and there is a direct TV box in his room, not being used.

My Life Thus Far

Not much has happend in the years i have been alive. I live a somewhat normal life in a town that I have only dreamed about leaving. Friends have come and go, as do all things in a persons life. My Father's mother passed away in 98 and my Mother's Mom passed in 2001. I didn't take it to hard, i wasn't too close to them but my brother Tony was. After my Grandmother passed in 2001 my brother's life went down hill, and mine with it. It wasn't as bad as it seems. He started to do drugs and treat me like dirt. It was like that for a good 3 years, till he met his boyfriend. I am not ashamed to have a gay brother, I actually think "True Love" has no age or gender, just the law. Since he's been with his boyfriend, Jason, he has been more nice and caring. He still treats me like trash though and I try to remember that it is sign not to follow his foot steps. Recently a friend came to live with me. I try to do the best I can to help my friends out. The thing with this friend is he seems to be going in the same direction as my Brother did. Matthew, my friend, lost both his parents, and I don't know exactly when he started but is now doing drugs. He left to go visit his friends in his old town for a month, never returned. It has been 4 months since then and I haven't given up on him. He has no way, other than his sister's cell phone, to call me. So I try my best to catch his sister away from work so I might be able to get a hold of him. It hard dealing with things that you can't really control. I hope that he comes back, he is my best friend and I want to help him. This is about all that has gone on in my life, other than somethings I don't want to put. Compared to some people this is nothing. It is probably a walk in the park to most people in the world. For me, it is hard, and I hope it gets better. Most my blogs after this might be about World of Warcraft of movies I saw. Not much of a life right now, but soon that will change.